2:216

-I just received an e-mail from Mara, mentioning that, they stick to their previous decision to terminate my scholarship after the second appeal made by me.

-It's not the shittiest day of my life coz i'm kinda getting used to this feeling since few months ago.

-This year, should be the best year for me to celebrate Hari Raya. I've made some improvement in my second year, in term of academic, and I've got the offer to do internship at Petronas Fertilizer, Gurun. But, the sponsorship termination really bring me down(literally), together with the achievement i've made.

-I don't really understsand why it's so easy for them to make such decision. I really mean it. I've been sponsored by them for almost 4 years since in KMB. I've shown them my capability to recover from 1st year agony, on paper. I do understand, CGPA is very important. But I don't think it's everything. 

-Mara have done their best to help me. Giving me opportunities to study in oversea(even for a while). To see and touch the world.  I really appreciate their kindness. I deserve this punishment for my past ignorant and stupidity. 

-The most important thing is for me to learn the past and keep moving on. But like a fresh deep wound, its really hurt. It need some stitches to speed up the recovery process. When recovered, there would be a scar. Ahh,.. i need time,. gimme time friends.

Adios amigos. Grasias.

Reminder to me,..

Sahih International

Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.[2:216]

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Prescribed for you, obligatory [for you], is fighting, disbelievers, though it be hateful to you, by nature, because of the hardship involved. Yet it may happen that you hate a thing which is good for you; and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you: because the soul inclines towards those desires which result in its destruction and its rejection of the religious obligations that would bring about its happiness. Perhaps, then, even if you are averse to it, you will find much good in fighting, as a result of victory, booty, martyrdom or reward; while, if you were to reject fighting, even if you would like to do so, you will find much evil, because then you may be subjugated, impoverished and denied the reward; God knows, what is good for you, and you know, this, not, so strive in what He commands you.